I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
