OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
