Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
