She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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