Soap is not a condiment
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
