thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
