She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
