Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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