the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I intend to get homeless drunk
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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