But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
