Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
