Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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