Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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