I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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