he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
