woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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