We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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