All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize