yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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