so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
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