Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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