some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
