I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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