Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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