just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
