im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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