then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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