I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
