we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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