i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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