I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
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I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
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If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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