It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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