I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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