It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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