i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
