Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
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female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment