Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers

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  (207): I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers http://tfl.nu/79gv
  Replies (9) Good night (2902) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.

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  (402): just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot. http://tfl.nu/9z8d
  Replies (24) Good night (4556) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy

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  (973): pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy http://tfl.nu/hiwh
  Replies (10) Good night (1364) Bad night (2990)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.

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  (859): thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that. http://tfl.nu/160n
  Replies (11) Good night (6230) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer

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  (401): The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer http://tfl.nu/75f3
  Replies (11) Good night (3463) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"

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  (810): during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer" http://tfl.nu/avyg
  Replies (15) Good night (2912) Bad night (1480)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets

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  (267): Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets http://tfl.nu/behk
  Replies (7) Good night (1857) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.

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  (270): My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there. http://tfl.nu/pghu
  Replies (0) Good night (1392) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.

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  (713): Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you. http://tfl.nu/5z0x
  Replies (5) Good night (926) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.

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  (925): I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off. http://tfl.nu/d0dp
  Replies (5) Good night (1487) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.

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  (218): We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand. http://tfl.nu/ljk5
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.

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  (630): dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times. http://tfl.nu/etvm
  Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening

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  (501): When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening http://tfl.nu/gsvb
  Replies (1) Good night (356) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"

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  (425): Apparently I'm a "fire hazard" http://tfl.nu/xnbz
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.

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  (571): I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me. http://tfl.nu/vbgb
  Replies (2) Good night (671) Bad night (266)

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