I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
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Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
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It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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