Define "chronic" masturbator.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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