so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize