Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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