His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
