Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
