He is such a slut. More and more my type.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
