WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
