Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
