On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
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