Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
