We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
