You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
