ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
