Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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