My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
