Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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