i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
