i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
