I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize