is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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