Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
