So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
