I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
