You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
