Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
