i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
