She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
