you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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